Polyamory Newsletter, Volume 1, April, 2005 
Published by Janet Kira Lessin, Focalizer, World Polyamory Association and Sasha (Alex) Lessin, Ph.D.  808 244-4103 email: WorldPolyamory@aol.com
site: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com
link: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/Newsletters/newsletter.html

This month's newsletter: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/Newsletters/
HTML Newsletter: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/Newsletter/April2005Volume1HTML.html

Kira's Intro:

Fools rush in as April's showers give way to May's flowers.  June blooms as the World Polyamory Association presents two conferences designed for Love's blossoms.  Now's the time to make plans for two of the hottest events this summer. 

The Harbin Hot Springs Polyamory Conference heats up with hot headliners designed to open your minds and blow them away.  Registration's limited to 200 so sign up now so you won't be left out.  Located in Northern California, this clothes-optional retreat center features hot tubs, wild life and nature, the perfect mix for our exploration into poly-love.  We're meeting beloveds and extended family there, new and old, so come join our pod.  There's a space just for you in the hot tub.  Here, let me rub your feet.

Chicago called and we responded, added the First Annual Polyamory & Tantra Conference.  Or is that the First Annual Tantra & Polyamory Conference?  We expect a huge crowd that'll get bigger every year, so register early and say, "I was there when it all began."  Our venue is large enough to accommodate us all.  Register early to get the earlybird discount and a room at the Inn and you won't miss anything.  Fun's guaranteed round the clock with your ever-growing, love-filled soul-group.  Ain't love grand? Polyamory truly is infinite love.

We still have openings for Presenters for both the Harbin and the Chicago conferences. Deadline for the Harbin presentes is April 30th.  We love learning from you as you strut your stuff and share wisdom.

On a personal note, Sasha and I  travel this Spring and Summer.  Mid-April we'll be in at Zacheria Sitchin (www.sitchin.com)'s Ancient Anthropolgy seminar at Ft. Lauderdale, Florida exploring the ancient threads of polyamory and tantra as practiced by the Gods of Sumer .  In earl June we lead  a polyamory and tantra  seminar for a poly group in Eugene, Oregon.  Then we're off to Harbin, CA, Chicago, IL the middle to end of June.  July/August we're in England and Europe.  September , we go Bryn Mawr, Pittsbugh Pennsyvania and NYC.   E-mail or call if you're interested in our events in those areas or private sessions with us.

Until we meet. 

Blessings and Aloha,

Contents of this Polyamory Newsletter
1.  HOW WE DO POLY first article in series  Janet Kira Lessin
2.  LISTEN WITH LOVE: VALIDATE, FEEL EACH OTHER: Relating Exercise for Polys (Sasha)

CHICAGO POLYAMORY & TANTRA CONFERENCE: Sacred Sex & Relationship Choice June 24-26, 2005
5.  POLYAMORY CONNECTION: Poly Dating, Support Group, Maui, Hawaii
6.  POLYAMORY BOOKS:  Polyamory, The PolyTantric Lovestyle &  Polyamory: More Loves, More Loving
7.  POLYAMORY MAGAZINE - Contributions and Staff Sought


1.  HOW WE DO POLY first article in series by Janet Kira Lessin

We invite you in successive issues of this newsletter to write how YOU do poly. There are all kinds of ways to make polyamory work.

My husband Sasha and I only date singles and couples who are interested in experiencing lovemaking with both of us. We tend not to sleep with others as we find three or more in a bed is hot and uncomfortable (we live in the tropics)Sometimes we may all crash on the living room floor on futons after a lovemaking session. In general, when I sleep I like to sleep. When I make love I go for it with total abandon. That can be noisy for those who chose to sleep in that moment.

Sash and I have a third (male), Shivaya, who just moved in with us. Shivaya does not share our bed but we do share lovemaking with him.

We also have lovers who visit as they have very productive lives and jobs in other cities. We travel a lot so we frequently rendezvous with them in other cities around the globe. Traveling as a group is fun.

Our lovers have lovers and we're open to meeting them. Our numbers change. Not everyone is sexually attracted to one another but in general we get along minimally as friends. Cuddling's always nice. Love doesn't take any particular physical form. We can love many and be very particular about whom we kiss, cuddle, have sexual contact with and/or make love with.

Over time many have come and gone. They come for various reasons; love, sex, friendship, community. They leave for various reasons; incompatability, jobs, different climate, death, etc.

I've learned many things from opening to polyamory. I've discovered my heart is huge. My capacity unconditional love is enormous. I love everyone I've ever loved. The numbers of my loves are legion. Love and involvement are two completely different things. It's ok if we chose not to live together or have sex with one another. I'm not responsible for anyone's turn on. I'm perfect just the way I am. Don't should anyone. Don't tolerate anyone shoulding you.

2.  LISTEN WITH LOVE: VALIDATE, FEEL EACH OTHER: Relating Exercise for Polys (Sasha)

Do this exercise aloud with your lovers.  One partner, the Reader, reads the cues in bold type aloud to another partner, Responder 1, while the other poly partners, the Witnesses, listen and imagine how they’d paraphrase the Responder. Reader reads anything enclosed in square brackets [like this] silently. Where the Reader needs to respond, you'll see this symbol ###.  Where you see asterisks (* * *), it's Responder 1’s cue to respond: give her/him a few breaths to do so. Keep your face and body neutral while you listen; don’t roll your eyes, gesture or respond; these inhibit the Responder.

Reader 1: HOW CAN WE CAN PLEASE YOU DEEPLY? *** [When Responder has said a few sentences (few enough so you can remember), say the next sentence]

Wait. I hear you saying ... ###. [Finish the sentence in your own words, Reader 1: summarize (paraphrase) what Responder’s said.]

Is that correct? *** [If your partner gives you corrections, paraphrase her and ask if you've got the corrections right until she says, " you've got it right".]

Would you say more on this subject? *** [Continue paraphrasing and asking if there's more till Responder finishes on this subject. When Responder says, "that's all", complete the next two sentences.]

You make sense because ### [Validate Responder. Pretend you're s/he, seeing things from her/his perspective, Say how s/he makes sense.]

I imagine you must feel ... ###. Is that what you’re feeling? ***

Responder 1 becomes Reader 2 and takes another Responder, Responder 2, through the cues while Witnesses listen attentively, imagining how you’d mirror the Responder 1 if you were Reader 1. Continue shifting roles until each of you have had a chance to play both Reader and Responder to this question before going on to the next one.

Reader 2 to Responder 2: WHAT CAN WE DO THAT TURNS YOU ON? ***

You’re saying ... ###.

Is that correct? *** [If your partner gives you corrections, paraphrase her and ask if you've got the corrections right until she says, " you've got it right".]

Would you say more on this subject? ***

You make sense because ###

I imagine you must feel ... ###. Is that what you’re feeling? ***

Responder 2, become Reader 3, takes another Responder through the cues as Witnesses listen and imagine how you’d paraphrase the Responder if you were the Reader. Continue shifting roles until each of you have had a chance to play both Reader and Responder to this question before going on to the next one. Follow the same procedure (change Reader and Responder till all have had a turn with each question; let all respond to a given question before you go as a group, to the next question.)

HOW CAN WE SUPPORT YOU? *** Wait. I hear you saying ... ###. Correct? *** Would you say more on this subject? *** You make sense because ###. I imagine you must feel ... ###. Is that right? ***


You’re saying ...###. Is that right? *** Would you say more on this subject? *** You make sense because ###. I imagine you must feel ... ###. What do you feel? ***


You’re saying ...###. Right? *** Say more. *** You make sense because ###. I guess you feel ... ###. What do you feel? ***


Our Northern California Conference, Celebrate Relationship Choice, at Harbin Hot Springs, CA (June 17-19, 2005) in Middleton, (two hours from San Francisco) offers optional nudity, free sexual expression in WPA's designated private area, healing hot pools.

We've scheduled nteractive workshops on pair bonding, romantic love, multiple-partner sexuality, jealousy management, BDSM in poly relations, bisexual loving and choreographing the dance of poly loving. Enjoy panel discussions, networking, party and opportunities to experience living compersion–empathy for others' love-joy.

Presenters include Kelly Bryson, Patricia Winters, Brian Barry, Shama and Don Kraig, Dave Doleshal, Sasha and Janet Kira Lessin, Harold Kornylak, Les Nuckles, Dave Doleshal, Ed Seykota, Dawn Davidson, Akien MacLain, Terry & Paul Brussel-Gibbons & Marcus Brussel Jenkins, Ed Jor-El Elkin.  If you'd like to present too, email us; we're open to more.  We'd especially like a presentation on the interface between paganism and polyamory.

Here's a bit on the workshop Shama and Don Kraig will offer:

How To Enter An Established Poly Relationship Shama & Don Kraig

Learn to be a successful third, fourth, or fifth wheel!  Navigating the waters smoothly when entering an established relationship can be rough.  Shama & Don reveal important pointers that make the journey easier. You learn the most important aspects of how to deal with exciting dynamics a new person brings; the wonders and the potential pitfalls. Learn to create balance and harmony in triads and beyond.  Explore practical skills including communication tools that can be used immediately to enhance and expand the quality of all your relationships

Harbin Confence Schedule (tentative)
Friday, June 17

4:00 Registration Opens
4:00 - Newcomer’s Circle
5:00 - 6:30 Dinner
6:30 - 7:30 - Sasha & Kira: Opening Circle, Pods
7:30 - 9:30 Presenter #1 -
9:30 - 11:30 - Presenter #2 -

Saturday June 18, 2005 - Conference All Day
7:30 - 9:00 AM - Breakfast
9:00 - 10:00 - Sasha & Kira: Pods
10:00 - 12:00 - Presenter #3 -
12:00 - 1:30 Lunch
1:30 - 3:30 - Presenter #4 -
3:30 - 5:00 - Presenter #5 -
5:00 - 6:30 - Dinner
6:30 - 8:30 - Presenter #6 -
8:30 - 10:30 - Presenter #7
10:30 - midnight - Presenter #8

More Info http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/conferences/HarbinHotSprings2005/harbin_hot_springs_index.html
Discounted price includes meals and tent/seminar space accommodations: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/forms/Harbin2005/harbin_registration_form.html
Register now and save. Prices go up each month.

Presenter's Application: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/forms/presenters.html
Presenter's Harbin Registration Form: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/forms/Harbin2005/harbin_registration_form_presenters.html


Sheraton Chicago Northwest, Arlington Heights, IL. A co-presentation of The World Polyamory Association and World Tantra Association. Presenters sought. Earlybird discount before April 15, 2005: Members: $100, Non-Members: $155.  Rooms: $99 Single or double, $109 triple or quad. 

To register:


Presenter's Application: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/forms/presenters.html

5.  POLYAMORY CONNECTION: Poly Dating, Support Group, Maui, Hawaii

POLYAMORY CONNECTION is an ongoing poly dating club, support group and  interactive relationship class on polyamory (contemporaneously loving more than one in intimate, candid relationships).  For more information:  http://schooloftantra.com/Groups/PolyamoryConnection/PolyamoryConnection.htm

PASSION & POLY PLAY IN PARADISE - MAUI, HI - First Weekend of the Month
Saturday 9AM - 5PM, Sunday 11AM - 6PM

Celebrate love and passion in a weekend journey to sacred sexuality, where playful spirits enjoy tantric energy exchanges, partnering, lovemaking, sharing, compassionate communication and more. Our blend of tantra practices combined with modern transformative, spiritual sexuality exercises and Jungian psychology give you hands-on experiences, reverent relationship rituals, inspirational demonstrations, fun-filled fantasy fulfillments, play parties and coached coupling. Choreograph the dance of yin and yang at each chakra. Advance your consciousness, improve pairing and model love more. Connect deeper with your partner or find new love. This tantra playshop is ideal for beginners. 

Singles $200
, Couples $300, 808-244-4103 to register, Registration Form, email schooloftantra@aol.com

Click http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/ and enter WPA's world of poly links, dating data, forum, personals, discussion groups.
LINKS: We post your link, you post WPA's; we all rise in Search Engine Consciousness. Submit yours to us at  World Polyamory Association - Links http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/Links/links.html

FORUM: Propose and discuss subjects of poly interest http://worldpolyamoryassociation.com/forum.html

PERSONALS Say Who You Are and What You Seek http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/Personals/personals.html

POLY EVENTS http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/events.html


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6.   POLYAMORY BOOKS:  Polyamory, The PolyTantric Lovestyle &  Polyamory: More Loves, More Loving

POLYAMORY: MORE LOVES, MORE LOVING Synergistic Sacred Sex & Reverational Relationships for Three or More Lovers by Sasha Lessin, Ph. D & Janet Kira Lessin, guides you and your love group to a fun-filled weekend of All-Chakra Total Tantra to intensify intimacy and celebrate each other. In this celebration, you open all your energy centers (chakras), heal emotional wounds, expand ecstasy and love for each other. You celebrate your separate selves and also transcend them in delightful spiritual energy with each other.

POLYAMORY, MANY LOVES: The Poly Tantric Lovesyle, A Personal Account Janet Kira Lessin, is an autobiographical testimonial of Janet's experiences with polyamory and tantra. Hold onto your hats for a wild ride! Polyamory may not be the easiest lifestyle, but it's sure fun. The ups and downs of relating with more than one certainly keep things lively. Never a dull moment. Combine polyamorous relating with tantra and you're soaring to new heights.

7.  POLYAMORY: THE MAGAZINE: Contributions and Staff Sought

The new poly magazine, POLYAMORY seeks articles, stories, thoughts, ideas.  POLYAMORY is for you, about you and others like you. Share your victories, follies, highs, lows, hopes, woes, loves, loves lost, excitement, depression, happiness, sadness, joy, sorrow and bliss.  We want to hear it all, know all about you and what it takes to be polyamorous in these amazing and sometimes trying times.  We'd love to feature your art on our web site and zines.  We'd even love to share your photos with the world (if everyone in the photos grants their permission). Show us how talented you are.  Share your happy faces and joy that you've found with your poly loves and family.  We're here to promote you and your work.  We're here to change the world, make it a better place for all of us.


Member's of the World Polyamory Association get a free personal ad so you may easily find the relationships you seek. 

Personals: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/Personals/personals.html

Become a member. Save on conferences and events: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/members/membership.html

Professional Member's get a free listing in our Professional Directory plus discounts on advertisements.  We promote our members on our web site, e-zine and magazine.  http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/ProfessionalDirectory.html

Please send articles, ads, listings, art and photos to: WorldPolyamory@aol.com.  Include your author's bio, contact information, web site, email and photo.  Or you may call 808-244-4103. 

Post Your Events: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyamoryEventsCenter/?yguid=171816049

Tell us about your group: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/groups.html