KAMALA DEVI’S Top Polyamory Problemswith Being Open, Married and Dating
10. Loving many does not mean that you love everyone.
”If you don’t like your lovers lover, you have to choose between being alone while they go do something or being annoyed at hanging out with them both.” –Staples Kinky
9. Just because your poly does not mean you’re promiscuous.
“Why do people always equate open relationships and polyamory with just wanting to sleep around? Can’t I like my lovers too?” –Anon
The whine-fests about who’s “really poly” versus who’s “just slutty” give me a headache. People, it’s an identity, not a 2+2 math problem. – mistressmatisse on Twitter.
8. Scheduling. There are only 7 nights in the week.
Husband just straightfacedly told me ‘we have a problem, we need to talk…’ awk. silence: ‘you’re not dating enough people.–neomeruru gravida, Twitter.
When I was poly I traveled a lot and had a girlfriend in each place (with full disclosure naturally). Made scheduling a breeze. Of course it stopped working when my job that paid for business travel ended. –Kevin P. Facebook
7. Dealing with Poly Stereotypes.
Overheard a hipster boy at party last night: “The only problem I have with the poly community is that, by and large, they’re bi and large”–Burning Man on Twitter.
6. Anti Poly Marriage propaganda.
Getting uncomfortable with this “gay marriage will lead to poly marriage” line. Why is consensual poly a problem?–Zoe O’Connell on Twitter
Wedding invitations always say plus 1, where does that leave us?– Vanessa Carlisle from Showtime’s Polyamory: Married & Dating.
5. Sleeping Arrangements: Who sleeps in the middle?
If you have more than 3 people, how do you get a bed big enough?–Dawn Davidson, Facebook.
The classic Poly Problem: Who sleeps on the wet spot? Or should I say spots. – Annie Sprinkle Ph.D. is the prostitute/porn star turned artist/sexologist.
4. Most Sex Positive events are Mono-normative.
When we are at a tantra event and the teacher says to pair up, I don’t know who to face first. – Ali Shanti
Lifstyle events, swing parties and sex clubs all seem to wink at bisexual girls but shut the door on male homosexuality. God forbid that two guys dicks should touch in a MFM group sex scene! — Michael McClure, Ethical Stud
3. Primary, secondary, tertiary status.
Getting a text message that reads: “my main relationship takes priority over you” message.”–Undercover Kinkster, Author of anonymous poly friendly blog
2. Having to reject people.
Everyone wants Me. –Leslie Cavagnero
That, and the perception by non-poly people that because I am poly, I am interested in dating/sleeping with everyone. That couldn’t be further from the truth. If anything, Im less interested than most monos….I’m too busy to be interested in anyone else. –Leeanne K. from Facebook
This Group Marriage Rejection Letter was a post to alt.polyamory by Elynne on 1/28/2001. And then re-posted on PolyFamilies. “I am sure that many of you who have poly familys or pages about poly familys get this thing from time to time. I hope you find it as funny as I did.”
Dear (insert name here),
Thank you for your interest in joining our polyamorous family. We’re pleased to know that you find our arrangements appealing, and that you are intrigued by one or more of our members.
However, I regret to inform you that we do not currently have any openings for new members in our household. Please understand that this situation does not reflect negatively upon your personality, appearance, or credentials.
We will keep your application on file, and will hasten to nofity you if there is an opening in our family at some point in the future. We do wish you luck in all your future endeavors.
(Poly Household Name)